We are social creatures that are meant to connect with others. Taking risks to explore our vulnerabilities with others means acknowledging that we may get hurt or feel pain in the process and this is scary. It also means that there are possibilities to achieve a deeper understanding of what makes relationships worth taking risk for in the first place. Love, laughter, joy, peace, and humility are just a few of the rewards that can come from relationships.

Courage

Radical Acceptance

It is a bitter sweet fact that change is the only constant. On one hand, we experience the pleasures that comes with living this life and on the other hand, we experience the losses of what once was, what could have or should have been, and what will never be. There is much to grieve in this lifetime. And while anger and sadness are a necessary and painful part of the grieving process, so is the peace that comes with acceptance. By practicing being with what is and being patient in the process, we soften into our own inner wisdom to guide us. This is empowering.

Compassion

It is normal for us to eb and flow between activated states and deactivated states throughout the day depending on the stimuli. It's natural under stress to go from alert and ready to mobilize to a resting state. It's when we get stuck in one of these states or overwhelmed and shutdown, that we may need some help expanding our tolerance for distress in healthy ways so that we can better adapt to our environment and what is needed of us in the moment. As our capacity to be present with what is grows, we may realize that some of our behaviors and our inner experiences- including criticism and shame, are no longer helpful. What once served to help protect us from pain, now keeps us stuck, out "flow" with life, and disconnected. What if there wasn't anything "wrong" with or "broken" about any of us? What if our pain could speak and tell a different story? One that says, you are enough just as you are, you are worthy of love, that your worth cannot be measured or defined by anyone else or by the degree to which you do or have anything? What would happen if we look inside of ourselves for answers with empathy instead of blame?

Curiosity

Have you experienced or witnessed a child wonder about the complexities of this world with openness, without fear, anxiety, and hopelessness? Perhaps a child wondering why the sky is blue or why the grass is green. They are simply curious about the possibilities without the pressure or expectation to know or have the answers figured out. As adults, we have grown to worry about many things in this world and to have answers (immediately). There is a time and place for this worry. The reality is that we do not live in a world of 100% certainty and that we do live in a world with a lot of possibilities. That concept can be overwhelming as we grow older and have more experiences in life. We may be tempted to interact in the world with fear and as if we need to protect ourselves at all times, blocking us from learning new things, from experiencing joy and pleasure. And based on a variety of different factors, including: how past pain has left an imprint in our bodies, our genetics, our innate sensitivities, and culture, some of us may chronically be in self-preservation mode.

We all struggle with fear and pain at some level, and the degree to which we experience it is subjective based on the unique individual. While we are often not alone in our feelings of pain or experiences, how it is expressed and the degree to which it is felt in the body can be very different. While it makes sense to seek and have some sense of control in an uncertain world, we must learn to accept that a LOT is outside of our control and recognize what choices we have in terms of how we respond to our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and our environment. When we can get curious with ourselves rather than criticize, when we approach our pain with wonder rather than only analyzing it, and we bring compassion towards ourselves rather than blame, the uncertainties in life become less scary and we can live more fully with flexibility and adaptability. Just because something could happen, doesn't mean it will. Just because something did happen, doesn't mean it will happen again. Just because something didn't happen, doesn't mean it never will. We must learn to embrace the unknown by coming back to our innate curiosity and using the wisdom of our minds and bodily sensations to discern how best to navigate this world and achieve greater connectedness. You are already whole; you have the answers within you.

“Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously.By not knowing, not hoping to know, and not acting like we know what’s happening, we begin to access our inner strength. To stay in the middle prepares us to meet the unknown without fear; it prepares us to face both our life & our death. This in-between state, where moment by moment the warrior finds herself learning to let go, is the perfect training ground”. - Pema Chodron